THE JOURNEY AND THE MOTIVES

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I’ve been thinking about how i keep myself busy over the years. The first year working in a school, you would think i would be happy to be out early and get the summer off, and i was. It’s just that i wasn’t use to it. So what do i do? I create a program that required me to work during the summer break, 3 days during the 6 weeks of summer school. I worked with incoming 6 graders preparing them for middle school life. I then extended the program into after school for a year where i met with these students two days per week for an hour at dismissal. I stopped the after school groups after that fist year, but continued working summers for 4 years. The following year I created an after school program for girl’s. Then i came up with the idea to create a support group for the parents where we meet 1 x monthly. This year i have created a mentoring program, still running the the after school girl’s program and the parent support group. Oh wait, i’m also the president of the parent association at my son’s school. While all this was going on, i was working 9 hours fee-for-service at a clinic. In between there was other things like soccer practice for the little one and performances for the oldest that i had to attend. crazy right? Last year was the first time i didn’t work at my full time position for the summer, but did work the 9 hours fee for service. Oh no, don’t judge. I do go away for a week of spring break and 2-3 weeks in the summers to Jamaica ( I only do a little work on the computer when i’m there) Not much. OK, truth is, when i am not busy i think too much and i find myself feeling down in the dumps sometimes. I often wonder, when did it get this way. Life sure has changed. I do hang out..a little.. Dinner at times. Movies here and there. Whats not good is, doing these things have become like a task for me. I even try to find excuses why i can’t go. (Shhh… I don’t even want to go to the nail shop, cant be bothered to wait or even sis there while they are doing my feet and nails because i actually feel like i’m wasting time). No Bueno!  Don’t shake your fingers at me, I know, I know.. I’m working on it. Are you? working on taking time for you? I gave up my fee-for -service job two months ago. A step in the right direction. What was your step? Or, What will your step be for you? Do you practice what you preach when you tell friends and family, “slow down.” That they have to take time for themselves. Is it a fear of loosing control? Here’s something that i read that made me step back and once again “self asses”. This came from a book I’ve also been reading On Being A Therapist.  “After all, if you’re always focusing on other people’s problems, it’s easy to wriggle out of focusing on your own.”
Hmmmm.

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4 thoughts on “THE JOURNEY AND THE MOTIVES

  1. Raya Robinson

    I don’t know if this is the type of response that i am suppose to leave but this time I feel I have to. My sister is amazing and I wish I could be as wonderful as she is.. I love you so much.

  2. Andrea Wright

    I guess it’s ok when you are doing what you love plus you still find time for yourself…that is the most important part.

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